A Eulogy for Tommy

The other day I found out my barber Tommy passed away.  Alberto, his friend and co-worker, had told me he was out the last six months on family leave taking care of his mother who was very sick.  The news of Tommy’s death saddened me; he was my barber for about 20 years.

           

Tommy worked at Astor Place Hairstylists in the village.  In the early 1980’s, I remember seeing long lines just to get in the place and thought only the rich and beautiful could get in, but the barbershop catered to everyone.  One day I walked in and an employee asked if I needed help.  I said I needed a haircut and he pointed to Tommy who was not busy at the time and that is how our relationship started.

           

I can’t say I knew Tommy well.  He was married, but didn’t he talk about his wife much.  At one point, we both owned Nissan Maximas and we talked about the quality of the brand name.  He was Italian and talked about how much he loved his country.  He was not as rabid a soccer fan as Alberto, but he enjoyed talking about World Cup matches.  Tommy rooted for the Italian team to win, but always rooted against the Brazilian team.  I never formally introduced myself, but that never stopped Tommy from calling me, “my friend.”

           

What I do know about Tommy, I gathered from observation over the years.  He was a devoted son to his mother.  Tommy took time off from work to take care of her.  At the time, I could tell by the look on his face that he was very concerned about her.  Sometimes I was afraid to ask about her because I did not want to intrude in his private pain.

           

Tommy was a devoted Catholic.  It was a coincidence that I went to Astor Place at the exact time the Vatican announced the death of Pope John Paul II.  Tommy was sitting in his chair with a rosary in his right hand, tears streaming down his face.  I stood by him as he grieved not wanting to interrupt this very personal moment.  He knew I was there, but I told him I was not in a hurry.  After the news report ended, I told him to take a break and that I’d wait for him.

           

It was that devotion to Pope John Paul II that led me to ask my sister to bring back a souvenir from the Pope’s beatification ceremony in May of this year.  Sadly, I never got the chance to give it to him.  He was already absent on leave.

           

He was a big fan of Julio Iglesias, and sometimes played his CD’s over the barbershop speakers.  Tommy knew a little Spanish.  He said he was able to learn Spanish because a lot of words were similar in Italian. 

           

One year, I was scrambling to finish my Christmas shopping, it might have been on Christmas Eve, I cannot remember exactly.  Tommy was on the checkout line.  He saw me as I made my way to the escalator, gave me a sly smile in recognition of our mutual procrastination.  We shook hands and wished each other a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

           

Christmas time was a special time for me because it gave me an opportunity to give Tommy a gratuity – once I was financially able.  One time I came in and Tommy was sitting in his chair reading the paper.  He saw me and got up right away.  I told him I was not there to get a haircut.  Instead, I was there to drop off his Christmas gratuity.  He was touched by the effort and the gesture.

           

Another time, I gave Tommy his Christmas tip, then gave a Christmas tip to Alberto.  Earlier in the year, Tommy was out on family leave taking care of his mother and Alberto was the substitute barber.  Alberto was moved by the gesture and Tommy said, “See how classy my customers are.”

           

I also took the time to write in Italian, “Thank you for your service, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.”  I’ve noticed that people are touched when you extend warm greetings in their native language.

           

I guess what I’ll miss the most is Tommy’s professionalism, his skill as a barber, his patience and his courtesy.  I will miss our conversations about current events and how he punctuated every comment with “fuggedaboutit.”

           

Alberto and I talked about Tommy.  He said it was hard and emotionally draining for him to tell all of Tommy’s loyal customers about his passing.  Alberto was saddened again having to tell me.  “Tommy said you were his best customer,” he said.  We hugged and I offered my sympathies on Tommy’s passing.  

Rest in peace my friend.  Può il dio benedire la vostra anima con felicità eterna.