Donald Trump Reviews Fear the Walking Dead

Recently I saw the season premiere of Fear the Walking Dead and it was disappointing, let me tell you, very disappointing.  The show was low energy, like Jeb, very low energy.  How can a show about zombies be low energy, unbelievable?  If I had directed the show it would’ve been great, much more exciting and the ratings would’ve been tremendous, without a doubt and it would’ve won a few Emmy’s, I guarantee it.   

We don’t win anymore.  We lose to the Chinese, the Japanese, the South Koreans, and the Mexicans.  NATO is ripping us off.  The Saudi’s are taking advantage of us.  Obama negotiated a terrible deal with the Iranians.  We gave them billions of dollars.  Now we’re losing to the zombies in Fear the Walking Dead, unbelievable.

There’s a strange disease that’s turning people into zombies.  The government’s response was a total disaster, like the Ebola epidemic a couple of years ago.  I was the first person to warn how dangerous Ebola was.  I said we should not allow people from Africa into the country, but Obama completely ignored me, unbelievable.  He let those people back into the country.  When they arrived I said we should quarantine them until we’re sure they’re not sick.  We were lucky Obama didn’t get us all killed, let me tell you, he displayed poor leadership during the Ebola crisis, very poor leadership.

 
I noticed one thing right away, no guns.  Where are the guns?  Americans are being attacked by zombies and the people don’t have guns, unbelievable.  Obama hates the Second Amendment, let me tell you, he really hates it.  Obama wants to appoint Supreme Court justices who are going to weaken the Second Amendment.  He’s waiting for the right time to confiscate our guns.  Instead he should be confiscating Qurans.  When I’m elected president, Americans will have lots of guns to defend ourselves against the zombies, I promise you.

The zombie show doesn’t tell us how the disease got started in America, let me tell you, that’s just political correctness.  Political correctness is killing us.  We have open borders, they come in from Mexico and Central America and Africa and Syria, we let all of these people come in and we don’t check them to see if they’re sick and contagious and when they get sick we give them Obamacare, unbelievable, then they blend in with the rest of us and before you know it there’s a terrible epidemic and the government is too weak to respond. 

I have another problem with Fear the Walking Dead, the actors, never heard of them, they’re nobodies, who hired these people.  If I had negotiated the deal for AMC, believe me, I never would’ve agreed to put on a show with so many unknown actors.  How do you expect to get high ratings with unknown actors?  AMC should hire me to negotiate the next contract, let me tell you, I’m a great negotiator, I’ve negotiated billion dollar deals with the Chinese, the Japanese, and the Saudis.  I wrote The Art of the Deal, second greatest book of all time after the Bible.  When I’m president I’m going to sign an Executive Order making it mandatory to teach The Art of the Deal in every school, I promise you.  Anyway, I’ll kill off all the actors, have them eaten by the zombies and replace them with well-known actors like Jon Voight, an Oscar winner, I love winners, wasn’t he great in 24.  We have to bring back waterboarding, let me tell you, on day one I’m going to sign an Executive Order to bring back waterboarding.  We don’t win anymore, the terrorists, they’re winning, they’re laughing at us.  We have to torture the terrorists and if that’s not enough, we’ll go after their families, believe me.  They’ll start talking, I guarantee it.

Other well-known actors who would be great in Fear the Walking Dead, Stephen Baldwin, he was great in “The Usual Suspects,” great movie, and also Scott Baio, you remember the Fonz’s cousin Chachi from Happy Days, great show, let me tell you, great wholesome show, we don’t make shows like that anymore.  Today our TV shows have to be multi-cultural, politically correct.  I’m telling you multiculturalism is a disaster.  We will make America great again, I promise you. 

The actress who plays Madison reminds me of Megan Kelly, terrible journalist, very unprofessional.  She attacked me in the first debate, unbelievable, and she said I don’t respect women.  Nobody cherishes women more than me, let me tell you, I appreciate women more than any other man who’s run for president.  Since the debate, Megan Kelly’s been begging me to appear on her Fox News show, but I told Megan, “Why would I want to be on your show, you have terrible ratings, you’re a third rate journalist, I’m running for president, I can’t waste my very valuable time on your terrible TV show.”   I’m a successful business man, I’ve built a great company, hired thousands of employees, I’ve made billions of dollars and I had a very successful TV show.  NBC paid me millions of dollars, people expect me to be on a high quality TV show, they want to see great attractive people on TV, I guarantee it.  Frankly Megan Kelly is not that attractive.

 

People want a handsome president, I promise you.  Ted Cruz is not better looking than me, I guarantee it.  Lyin’ Ted’s face isn’t presidential, I will tell you.  His own daughters find him repulsive.  Look at me, I’m very handsome, great hair, excellent skin, spectacular hands.  Little Marco Rubio attacked my hands.  He said they were small, but they’re not small, they’re tremendous.  Little Marco implied another part of my body was small, let me tell you, I’m magnificent there, no complaints, I guarantee it.

Nick is Madison’s son and he’s a heroin addict.  That’s another problem we’re facing – heroin addiction.  Mexican immigrants are crossing our unprotected borders in droves.  They’re bringing heroin, getting our young people addicted to drugs, they’re killing us and what is our response, we’re sending millions of jobs to Mexico, unbelievable.  On day one of my presidency, I’m going to sign an Executive Order imposing a 35% tax on all goods coming from Mexico.  The Mexicans, the Chinese, the Japanese, the South Koreans, we’re losing jobs, they’re killing us on trade.  We will get these jobs back, I promise you.

 

It’s bad enough the actors are unknown, but some of the actors aren’t American, unbelievable.  That’s the problem.  Hollywood is giving acting jobs to foreigners.  It’s over when I become president, believe me, if you’re going to make a TV show in America you can’t have foreigners pretending to be Americans.  I’m going to put an end to this, I guarantee it.  We don’t need immigrants to act in our shows.  We have plenty of great actors who can portray Latinos, let me tell you.  Al Pacino, great actor, won an Oscar, “Scent of a Woman,” great movie, I would make Lt Colonel Frank Slade my secretary of defense, we will make our military great again, I guarantee it.  Pacino should’ve won more Oscars, but Hollywood is too politically correct, political correctness is a disaster, it’s going to kill the entertainment industry, I guarantee it.  Anyway, Al Pacino, by the way he always stays at a Trump Hotel when he travels because Pacino knows quality, Pacino’s played a Cuban and a Puerto Rican in movies, very convincing, I’m telling you, he can be Mexican on Fear the Walking Dead, I guarantee it. 

I heard there’s a Mexican on Fear the Walking Dead who ran for president of Mexico and he came in third place.  I have nothing against the Mexican people, let me tell you, nobody loves the  Mexicans more than I do.  I’ve hired thousands of Mexicans to work at my hotels.  They work very hard cleaning bathrooms, doing the laundry, cleaning dishes, but I wouldn’t hire a loser to be in my TV show.  We have to hire quality people, and we have to hire people who reflect our values – winning!  When I’m president, we’re going to win so much, let me tell you, we’re going to win so much, it’s going to come out of our ears and Megan Kelly’s “whatever.”

And I heard the Mexican is a singer/songwriter.  I never heard of him.  How good of singer is this guy if I’ve never heard of him.  People tell me some of his songs, his songs are terrible by the way, his songs are against America, and he writes songs about how terrible America is, unbelievable.  I would never allow someone to sing anti-America songs in any of my venues, let me tell you, I only hire quality people to perform at my venues, not losers.  When I’m president, on day one I’m going to call the FCC and tell them to pull AMC’s license if they don’t fire this guy, I promise you.

 

Fear the Walking Dead shows us how far America has fallen.  The government’s response to a health crisis is terrible, a total disaster, restrictions to our Second Amendment rights leaves Americans unarmed and unable to defend themselves against the zombies, Mexican immigrants cross our unprotected borders, they bring drugs, they use up our resources, terrorists no longer fear us, our weak infrastructure collapses, and the military is no longer able to protect us.  The zombie apocalypse will not happen when I’m president, let me tell you.  I’m going to appoint Supreme Court justices who will strengthen our Second Amendment rights, I promise you.  I’m going to bring back waterboarding, and we’re going to kill the families of terrorists.  We’re going to build a wall along the Mexican border.  The wall is going to be fifty feet high.  It’s going to be a beautiful wall, a magnificent wall, an elegant wall, I’m a builder, I know how to build, the wall is going to more amazing than the Great Wall of China, people are already calling it the Trump Wall, it’ll be better than the wall in Game of Thrones, I guarantee it and Mexico is going to pay for the wall.  We won’t have to worry about Mexican or ISIS zombies coming here to kill us.  We will make America great again, I promise you.